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| Amen |
So basically I'm going to stop promising future posts. For now, let's talk about the quasi-weirdness that was Week 2 in the NFL.
PACKERS 23 - Bears 10
- I know they won the game, but the Packers just have not looked as impressive as they should, considering they were a 15-1 team last year. The same can be said for reigning NFL MVP Aaron Rodgers. The big offensive spark came from a fake field goal turned touchdown. The Green Bay defense allowed the most pass yards ever last year, so the offense cannot afford to suffer like this.
- Of course, most of the focus is on the losing team, specifically the postgame attitude exuded by Chicago quarterback Jay Cutler. Apparently, some people are shocked that a quarterback can be sacked as much as Cutler has been over the past couple seasons and not enjoy it. The real question is who should be blamed for Cutler's four interceptions: the quarterback or the offensive line? Oh, it's Cutler? Touchè.
BILLS 35 - Chiefs 17
- "Fred Jackson hurt? No problem," said running back C.J. Spiller. The guy is on pace for over 2,000 yards rushing after two games.
- I'm starting to feel stupid for picking the Chiefs to be a Wild Card team this year. Yes, Matt Cassel threw for 300 yards, but his two touchdowns came in the fourth quarter when the team was down 35-3. In other words, garbage time. So good for you if Dwayne Bowe is on your fantasy team. That's the only positive highlight so far for the Chiefs.
BENGALS 34 - Browns 27
- Good to see the rebounds in Week 2 by the two Cleveland rookies. Brandon Weeden showed he is possibly a capable quarterback after his awful Week 1 showing. He passed for 322 yards and two touchdowns. Running back Trent Richardson was even more impressive, forcing me to re-think my whole stance of him being overrated and not a good fantasy pick. It's only one game against the Bungals, right?
- It's kind of sad for the Bengals that even after a win, all anyone is talking about is the Browns' two rookies. Having picked the Bengals for the AFC Wild Card, I'm not impressed by them yet. Their easy-ish schedule should help, as it did last year. Also, nice game for the Ginger.
COLTS 23 - Vikings 20
- I know everyone likes to focus on the performance of Andrew Luck, but am I the only one who is kind of impressed by Christian Ponder so far? Probably? Alright. Well good job, Luck, for getting your first win.
- No one really cares about these teams, right? Good. Moving on.
DOLPHINS 35 - Raiders 13
- Apparently Reggie Bush was hypnotized into believing the year is 2004 and he is still at USC: 172 rushing yards and two touchdowns, both for over 60 yards? That should help Tannehill out.
- In other news, the Raiders are still really bad and should still bottom out the AFC West. As for this game, how the hell did Carson Palmer end up throwing for 373 yards? It wasn't even largely garbage time yards like Cassel. It was throughout the game.
CARDINALS 20 - Patriots 18
- In case you missed this game, here's a quick summary of the final three minutes of play. The Patriots were down 20-12 before scoring a touchdown with 2:06 left. After failing to score the two-point conversion, the Cardinals should have been able to run out the clock BUT running back Ryan Williams fumbled it late, giving the Pats a chance and temporarily renewing every annoying Boston fan's belief that GAWD LOVES BWAWSTON. Fortunately, karma set in, and this happened.
I love the look on Bob Kraft's face around the 35-second mark. It's the little things.
- Kevin Kolb throws for 140 yards and the Cardinals win? This is why I love the NFL. This loss combined with the terrible year the SAWX are having almost makes up for the fact that every major professional sports team in Boston has won a championship in the past decade. Oh well. Whatever pisses off the elitist Boston sports writers.
- As for other things I find hilarious, how about Wes Welker? Bill Belichick benches Welker in favor of Julian Edelman (I'm guessing because Belichick is doing his usual passive-aggressive move every time a player "gets too big" because no one besides Brady is allowed to be any kind of star on this team), and Welker still manages to get 95 yards off five catches. So how long before Welker gets traded for a large stock of draft picks?
GIANTS 41 - Buccaneers 34
- So we saw a little bit of both sides of Eli Manning in this game. There was normal Eli, who throws a bunch of interceptions to remind people why they should not pick him in fantasy football; he appeared during the first three quarters of this game. Then the fourth quarter rolled around, and he turned into super-clutch-championship-winning-What-fairy-commercial? Eli Manning. He passed for more yards in the fourth quarter than Josh Freeman did in the whole game, and more yards total (510) than Freeman and Kevin Kolb combined this week. That's the Eli you want on your fantasy team, and the Eli you don't mind quarterbacking your actual team.
- I know everyone is talking about the last play -- if you didn't see it yet, the Giants were kneeling to run out the clock, and the Bucs' players dove up the middle to try and force a late fumble -- and frankly, I don't know what to make of it. I think it was a bit Bush-league by Tampa Bay head coach Greg Schiano to call that play, but at the same time, I have no problem with "playing to the last whistle." Just don't be surprised if another team runs up the score on the Bucs to avoid kneeling.
EAGLES 24 - Ravens 23
- Dear Joe Flacco,
You're still not elite, no matter how much you say you are. Elite quarterbacks make fourth-quarter comebacks. They do not throw back-to-back floaters to end the game. They also do not whine about the referees after the game.
Signed, Every Football Fan
P.S.: Yes I know the offensive pass interference call on Jacoby Jones was quite awful. That does not stop you from scoring again, does it?
- There's two ways to view Philadelphia's 2-0 record:
Optimist: The Eagles have committed four turnovers each in their first two games, and they are 2-0. There's no possible way they're going to commit that many turnovers a game, so if they can win these rough games, they should do well once the offense starts really clicking.
Pessimist: The Eagles have committed four turnovers each in their first two games, and they are 2-0. There's no possibly way their defense can keep bailing out Michael Vick and the offense all season long. Dig in, Philly fans. It's about to get ugly.
PANTHERS 35 - Saints 27
- I'm definitely not any sort of Saints fan, but them losing this game sucks for the simple fact that EVERY ESPN analyst keeps quoting that stat which says "only 12 percent of teams that started 0-2 have made the playoffs" when talking about the Saints.
- In other news, Cam Newton is still an athletic freak of nature.
TEXANS 27 - Jaguars 7
- Homer analysis of the week: I'm glad to see the Texans easily beat two teams they're supposed to beat. The first real test comes next week against Peyton Manning and the Broncos. Peyton has a habit of beating the Texans, but he hasn't played the Wade Phillips Texans defense yet.
- I'm also glad the national media stopped talking about the Texans. The more we can fly in under the radar, the better. Also this:
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| All hail, J.J. SWATT! |
RAMS 31 - Redskins 28
- If you didn't get to watch this game, apparently the Rams' defensive players did not take kindly to all the hype surrounding Robert Griffin III. From the get-go, they were jawing at him and taking a few shots after the snap. This game got chippy fast, and of course the replacement refs could not get it back under control. Since I hate the Rams and root for RG3, I found it hilarious when he scored that first rushing touchdown and pranced into the endzone.
- There's a scene in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, when Jim Carrey is talking about the kicker Ray Finkle. One of the lines is: "If you look up football's all-time bonehead plays ..." If that list really does exist somewhere, Josh Morgan just made it. How do you catch the pass, run backwards instead of getting the first down, and then throw the ball at the defender? That is too much stupid in one play for one person. Morgan should have called Andre Johnson before the game about Cortland Finnegan's ability to instigate receivers.
SEAHAWKS 27 - Cowboys 7
- So are the Cowboys still inconsistent, or do they just have a habit of terrible special teams play against Seattle? Fumble on the opening kickoff and a blocked punt right off the bat. You can't blame Romo for everything.
- In case you're not depressed enough, Cowboys fans, I'll just leave this here:
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| Receiver vs. linebacker |
STEELERS 27 - Jets 10
- Apparently it's too much to expect back-to-back good weeks from the Jets offense. Zero points in the second quarter. Is it Tebow time yet?
- Redskins-Rams was the worst overall officiated game, but the worst call of the week has to be the phantom defensive pass interference called on Ike Taylor, who did not even touch the receiver.
CHARGERS 38 - Titans 10
- San Diego backup tight end Dante Rosario had four catches and three touchdowns. Fantasy football players everywhere are somehow convincing themselves that they should have started a guy they have never heard of before. Fantasy football, or as I sometimes think of it, masochism.
- The Chargers (2-0) lead the AFC West right now. Seeing how the Texans play the Broncos next week, I'm actually rooting for Philip Rivers and Norv Turner to hold on to sole possession of the division lead for one more week. That hurts me a little bit to even think about.
- Sic 'Em Kendall Wright, former Baylor receiver. He scored his first touchdown Sunday.
49ERS 27 - Lions 19
- The Niners may have officially established themselves as the best team in the league right now. I haven't seen any reason to doubt them yet. The defense is still solid. Alex Smith is not screwing anything up yet. The offense around him looks improved. And Harbaugh is still foaming at the mouth. Good stuff.
- On the other side, Stafford seems to have forgotten how he threw for 5,000 yards last year. He also seems to have forgotten how to throw touchdown passes to Calvin Johnson. Indirect Madden Curse?
- Oh the jokes I could make about ESPN's fascination with the touching of hands between Harbaugh and Schwartz. I'll let it go, though.
FALCONS 27 - Broncos 21
- Peyton is still human, still rehabbing, and is capable of throwing three interceptions in three drives.
- Matt Ryan is saving my fantasy team, since Stafford has no interest in doing that right now.
- It's late, I didn't get to watch this game because of class, it's the last game, and I'm tired. Post over.
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